


If You Had the Choice...

by wayfinderings



Series: RokuVen Week 2020 [3]
Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: Deep Thinking, Gen, Introspection, Mentioned Ansem the Wise | DiZ, Mentioned Naminé - Freeform, it's based on the day's prompt but it's a bit of a stretch, like there's only one line directly related to it but its there so it counts, roxas thinking the big thoughts today
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 15:54:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26870215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wayfinderings/pseuds/wayfinderings
Summary: “If you could go back and do something to keep yourself from forgetting everything...do you think you would do it?”
Relationships: Roxas & Ventus (Kingdom Hearts)
Series: RokuVen Week 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1957120
Kudos: 7





	If You Had the Choice...

**Author's Note:**

> Today's fic is a bit on the shorter side, and is about as loose of an interpretation on the prompts for today as you can and still be able to say it's based on them. Also, today's about one of the only days this week where the quote prompt for the day is in no way related to the fic I wrote.
> 
> Day 3: **Emblem** | **Coat** | "Well, you're not so bad yourself."

Memories were quite the mysterious things. If anything, having Namine for a friend was proof enough of the very truth of that statement. Her sketchbook once held the mangled remains of Sora’s memories within their pages, false recollections of a past that didn’t exist manifesting in brilliant strokes of crayon.

In Roxas’s case, his memory had been edited with a few simple keystrokes by a man who had deemed the value of his life to be less than nothing. No guilt gripped his heart as the code making up a fake life and fake history appeared, character by character, on the many computer monitors spread before him. Namine’s simple drawings paled in comparison, her powers only allowing her to modify memories that already existed. She could change the route a person took through them, but never the destination they eventually arrived at.

Ansem the Wise was bound by no such limitations -- something Namine had been absolutely horrified to learn. He had crafted an entirely new life for Roxas, a life without Organization XIII, a life without Sora, a life that was entirely a _lie_.

But Roxas had gotten a chance to regain his memories. He had received help from others and had reclaimed his memories, reclaimed himself, and had regained the ability to make the choice for himself to return to Sora.

Ventus, on the other hand, had not even received that luxury.

Ven’s heart had been split clean in two, a single strike from Master Xehanort’s keyblade scattering his memories to the wind and leaving him bleeding out his past in the middle of the dusty wasteland that was the Keyblade Graveyard. The one part of his old self he had managed to hold onto was his name, yet even that was left tattered and fraying at the edges.

Roxas had no memories before joining the hooded ranks of Organization XIII. Ventus had no past beyond the bestowing of the emblem he now wore on his chest.

“If you could, would you go back and change it?”

Ventus dragged his eyes away from the stars overhead, surprised by the sudden question from Roxas. “Huh? What do you mean?”

“If you could go back and do something to keep yourself from forgetting everything…” Roxas didn’t turn to meet Ven’s gaze as he repeated his question, “...do you think you would do it?”

Surprisingly enough, Ven had never really thought about it much before unless he had to. It was a fair question: would he have been willing to cooperate with Xehanort in order to keep his heart and his memory intact...even knowing what would eventually happen if he did? Ven slowly shook his head. “Nah, I don’t think I would.”

Roxas still didn’t turn to look at him, but Ven could tell that his interest was piqued.

“I guess, for starters...I couldn’t even begin to imagine myself as one of Xehanort’s Seekers of Darkness. If Xehanort had never split my heart...I think that’s where I would have ended up, and even just the thought of it makes me feel terrible. I don’t want to think about how I could have been on the other side of the war had one simple thing gone differently.

“Besides, if that had happened, I never would have gotten to become friends Terra and Aqua, or Lea or Isa or Xion, or Sora or Riku, or Kairi. I wouldn’t have gotten to be friends with you, either, Roxas.”

Finally, Roxas looked over and met Ven’s gaze, his eyes widened a bit in shock. “I...I shouldn’t be part of the reason that --”

“Says who?” Ven countered, not wanting to let Roxas finish his statement, “And even if that were the case and I had to pick a different reason, I still wouldn’t change anything.” The words hung in the air between the two boys for a moment as the stars continued to twinkle above their heads.

“Why not?” Roxas asked, his voice quieter all-of-a-sudden. It was a bit of a shock, Ven had to admit, seeing how quickly his demeanor could change. “You have the choice...why not take it?”

Ven gave Roxas a small smile. “I don’t think I would have been very happy if things in my life had happened differently than they have. Sure, a lot of the things I went through weren’t ideal, and I would never wish them to happen to anyone else, but I’ve made too many new memories, too many new habits. Part of me will always yearn for those memories that I’ve lost, but there’s always the chance that I’ll find them again someday.”

Ven looked back up to the sky, watching as Roxas followed suit out of the corner of his eye. “But there are a lot of memories that I’ve made since losing my old ones that I never would have made…. I don’t want to give those up, too.”

Roxas hummed in thought, fiddling with the x-shaped zipper on his undershirt as he mulled over what Ven had said.

“Any particular reason why you’re asking, Roxas? That question did come a bit out of nowhere…”

“I don’t know...I’ve just been thinking a little, I guess.” Roxas said with a light shake of his head, “I don’t exactly have the option to go back beyond my first memories and change anything...That's not really me anymore...

"I guess I was just wondering….if you had the choice…”

“Oh…Well, I don’t like spending too much time dwelling on stuff that I don’t remember. It’s not going to do much except give me migraines at the moment…” Ven gave a short little chuckle, a bit embarrassed that he wasn't able to give Roxas a decent answer to his question, “But maybe….if I ever get my old memories back one day, you can ask me again.

“Maybe then, I’ll have a better answer for you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Y'all know the drill: for more screaming about Ventus and Roxas (and about KH in general) check out my twitter: @wayfinderings


End file.
